Sunday, November 17, 2013

5 Minute Fit on the Floor

A 4 year old, lost in time, sitting on the floor. Afraid and unaware of what was going on. A shackling forced upon the tenderly young body. Tears of misunderstanding rolled down his lightly freckled face as he stared into the carpet, forever changed.

It all began with a limp and an inquisitive farmer of a father. A quick measurement of the uneven legs confirmed a problem, a battle of body within. Legg-Perthes disease, a hip disorder, a disease cured with leg braces.

Returning home from the doctor’s office in this body binding and seemingly limiting device produced a fit that only a 4 year old is skilled enough to enact. The tantrum was not long in its duration but after five minutes of crying on the floor the flood of fury and dejection ended. Getting up off the floor, life began. This was not so much a display of courage on the boy’s part but more of a reflection of the determination and deep love on the part of the two parents. Hearts aching with sorrow and doubt, they looked on. They encouraged the boy with gentleness but treated him like the others. Bicycles were ridden, soccer was played, ice skates used and a seemingly hobbled boy pretended not to notice the braces. Braces with a 14 inch bar between the knees to keep the legs at an angle to allow the hip to repair. There was never any physical pain, just a squeak when the metal needed greased that served as a relentless reminder.

When there was any walking, standing or anything else involving mobility, the braces had to be worn. Treated as a lifeline, the lesson from the doctor was that healing would only come if the braces were always used. Save for one time, a quick jog across a private bedroom when he was alone, did the young boy always wear the braces when upright and moving.

A soccer game played and a father looked on. The ball passed right between the boy’s spread out legs. He ran on, without any concern but for winning the game. All the while his father wept with anguish. His mother also looked on from time to time, questioning her actions and the unknown possibility of being the cause of the disease herself. 

Two years of restriction and success was around the corner until a doctor returned with discouragement and troubling x-rays. The disease had spread to the other hip. Another 3 years passed, 5 total before liberation finally occurred. The healing completed at the age of 9, after most of the boy’s childhood had faded away.
               
In the Idaho countryside one does not sit around, especially with brothers, sisters, horses, dogs, cats, and thousands of acres for a back yard. Living life was not up for debate or discussion, it simply happened. No choice was made, except on that one day, the first day, after the five minute fit on the floor.

Life hits us so hard sometimes that we feel as if we have been shackled and slammed to the floor. It hurts, we are confused, and often we cry. Our hearts are frozen, cracking, aching, on the verge of shattering. Shattering into a billion pieces, only to melt into a dark puddle of pain.

Rising up out of the ashes of our aching soul, crying out with anguish, we must choose the life that has been given freely. We must choose to embrace our eternal exaltation. We must live our life, hand in hand with our Savior. Looking into our past, into the trials we have faced, we must look further. We must look back far enough to glimpse the Master. Once we can see past our pain and suffering and into His life of long ago, we then are freed. Liberated and released from whatever it is we face.

In the present we often cry out for understanding and for help with our new limitations or ones that have lingered for what seems eons. Once thought conquered we often find they have only shifted to another part of us. Pushing us on to endure when we feel we can no longer. After the tears are shed and the sounds of sorrow exhausted we have one of two choices. Once we have finished our ‘five minute fit on the floor’ we have a decision to make. Do we continue in debilitating despondency? Do we throw our hands up in confusion and lay down to dissolve into despair, never to rise again? The only other choice we have then is to live. To get up, to choose to live with Him.

 -The Feeble Soul
© 2013

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